A BIT OF A CATCH UP...

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Last published on 19-Aug-2014. Every bloggers nightmare to see. Over a month ago. I was so organised with my posts and then life happened. I mean that's what tends to happen you get busy here and there and suddenly there's a calm after the storm. I'm guessing whilst I'm writing this, this bit is the calm and I'm enjoying it thoroughly.

What has changed with me?

1. I'm doing work experience
2. I've met my Dad after not seeing him for the past 5 years
3. My friends Mum has sadly passed away
4. I feel older
5. My boyfriend has gone back to university (back to a long distance relationship)

1. As you can tell I've had a busy month to adjust to a few things. Work experience has happened in the past two weeks. It's a bit of retail experience as I left uni with no degree or job and definitely no actual work experience. I thought now would be the time to get a bit of experience in whilst I'm job hunting. You know what? I'm absolutely loving it. Not what I'm doing on a day to day basis so much but, I'm loving talking to people and helping people. I'm working in the town centre in a busy shop so it's great. I do 30 hours a week so as you can imagine, I am pretty busy!

2. As for meeting my Dad I did that with my boyfriend. If any of you have read my previous posts you know that my relationship with my Dad has been very rocky. It's definitely had more downs than ups. It was such a difficult decision to make but with encouragement and something telling me to go ahead and meet him, I went for it. I've now come to the decision I would definitely not meet him on my own. It was like meeting a stranger but I did it and it was so hard so I'm proud of myself. 

3. Now here's the important bit, my friends Mum. She lived with cancer for 3 years, she passed away on the 10th of September. It was a very sad time. This friend is one of my close ones and I used to really get on with her Mum. My friend knew her Mum was dying but didn't know how soon it would come around. It was quite shocking. I'm off to the funeral tomorrow in support of my close friend and her family. 

4. "I feel older". Ha! As if I put that. Doing all these long shifts in the afternoon/evening time though is definitely forming me into a duplicate of my Mother. Coming in and moaning my feet hurt, just like she does. I never knew the feeling of 'gagging for a cuppa' either. I do now, that's for sure. I am one for supporting myself and the way that I live. I've had two job interviews recently so I'm waiting to hear back from those and I'll hopefully be bringing good news soon.

5. Finally, my boyfriend, James, has gone back to university. This is his final year so that means one last time we will be doing this whole long distance relationship thing. It's hard but worth it. I am ridiculously proud of him. Saying goodbye to your boyfriend is never easy especially when you know you're not going to see him for weeks. That's okay though, at the end he'll get to do what he loves and that makes me happy.

How are you all doing, any changes? 

MY LIEBSTER BLOG AWARD

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There I was Sunday afternoon refreshing my mail on my iPhone to find a new comment on my blog from the oh so lovely Laura from keepingupwithblake. We'd never spoken, we were not following one another and I'd never read any of her posts. There was a surprise she left me in the comment, she'd nominated me for a Liebster Blog Award. I'm very happy that she praised my posts and I am super happy she nominated me as I believe it's a great movement for newer bloggers.

I spent Monday catching up with all the social media kind of things I'd missed on Sunday. I thought whilst I was sitting here waiting to start my answers to the questions Laura gave the 11 bloggers she nominated, that I'd read up on some of her posts and get to know her a little more. It's so great to know the person who's created the posts you're reading. So, I learnt by stuff about Laura from the questions she answered, you guys can take a look at her award here and give her a cheeky follow if you wish to do so.

For those of you who aren't very aware of the rules here they are: 

• Answer all of the 11 questions given to you by the person who nominated you.
• Link back to the person that nominated you.
• After completing these questions you must nominate 11 blogers (with under 200 followers) and provide them with 11 questions to answer.
• You cannot nominate the person who nominated you.
• Finally, let your nominees know they've been nominated and provide a link to your post so they can learn all about it.

So here are the questions that Laura set her nominated bloggers and my answers:

1. What was the first concert that you ever went to?

The first concert I ever went to was One Direction, I was 17. I have now seen them 3 times, yay. 

2. What would you say is your greatest achievement so far in life?
I'd say this for me is getting into uni and coming out the other side of 8 months of dizziness, faintness and just generally really not wanting to face the world today kind of mood...

3. Where is the best place that you have ever travelled to?
I can't say I've done any spectacular travelling. I've been to Holland but that was when I was around 10. It was absolutely beautiful from what I can remember and I'd more than happily love to visit there again and have a real exploration.

4. If you could have given yourself one piece of advice when you were a child, what would it have been?
This is simple, do what makes you happy, don't care what anyone thinks. Also I'd tell myself, time heals all.

5. What is your favourite TV series?
The Great British Bake Off and My Mad Fat Diary for sure.

6. If you were given a chance to relive one day in your life, what day would it be?
I'd like to relive the day I met One Direction so I can look hotter as my 19 year old self and maybe tame Harry into a corner to pounce on, who knows. Dreams are just dreams right!

7. What is your unhealthy obsession?
It used to be One Direction however I've grown out of that. I'd now say my unhealthy obsession is buying literally everything I find pretty.

8. What is your favourite flower?
Tulips or roses.

9. If you could erase your memory to read a book again, which book would it be?
This sounds so sad but I'd love to read Fifty Shades of Grey again, I totally didn't just admit to that ha!

10. Tell me about your weekend...
Yesterday I went shopping and bought a smoothie maker that doesn't actually work, cry. Today I've just been on a driving lesson back in my home town, totally not used to the roads here. I was driving in Northampton for 8 months so being back here driving is strange. Later, I'm going to stay with my Nan for the night! Busy, busy, busy.

11. Katy Perry or Lady Gaga?
I really dislike Lady Gaga so it would definitely have to be Katy Perry. She's gorgeous anyway so we'll go with that!

So it's now time for my nominations:

1. Katie at inkatiescorner
2. Esme at esmeburr
3. Hazel Jane at hazeljane
4. Lucy at littlelucywishes
5. Jessica at blush-crushh 
6. Alex at AlexIDiLorenzo
7. Louise at louiseamos

Only 7 here. I follow some great blogs but there's only a collection that are under 200 but never mind huh!

My questions for you guys are as follows:

1. If you could see anyone in concert, who would it be?
2. Which 3 guests, alive or dead, would you have at a dinner party? Why?
3. What's your dream job?
4. What is something you learned in the last week?
5. Is love at first sight real?
6. Do you have any unusual phobias or fears?
7. What do you think of facial hair on men?
8. What are you the most proud of?
9. If you had to describe yourself as an animal, what would it be?
10. What's your least favourite word?
11. Have you met any celebrities?

I can't wait to see your guys' answers. If you've already done this, reply to the questions in the comments as I'd love to know more about you!

LOSING SLEEP

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Totally not laid awake at nearly 2am mulling over life and continuously refreshing social media... I mean who does that? I thought I'd just spill all my thoughts out here, now. I'm kind of tired but you know when you feel too lonely to sleep, me right now.

Isn't it strange how we're in this world full of people and we can still feel lonely. Obviously it's nearly 2am as I'm writing this and everyone is asleep so I'm bound to feel lonely. Isn't it strange though that whilst everyone is sound asleep anything could be happening right outside our windows? I'm definitely thinking into things too much tonight. 

Tonight is one of those 'what if' nights. What if I saw myself through someone else's eyes, would I think I was beautiful? What if I'd met with that boy and gone on a date? What if I'd have stayed on at uni? You know just random stuff a girl ponders about. The big thing here is though, those things can't happen and can't be changed so why am I laid here losing sleep over things like this.

With that said and no rain being music to my ears it's probably time I go and moan somewhere else about being lonely. Maybe I'll just go to sleep who knows?

HONESTY HOUR #8: IT'S OKAY TO CRY

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You know when things just all build up into one big mess in your head and it just comes crashing down in the form of tears. That was me, yesterday. I felt like I'd been shouted at, silly I know, but that on top of everything else building up in my head meant I headed for a breakdown of crying... The main reason, I felt like a failure, I know I'm far from it.

With that aside I just want to say it's okay to cry every now and then. There's totally nothing wrong with it. Do it. It's good for you. Let it all go, everything that you've built up inside just let it out of your system and that's it really, move on. It's hard to be sane and deal with lives everyday things when you have things building up inside you or you will undoubtedly breakdown into fits of tears anywhere. This could be over someone speaking to you in a way you dislike too, as I found out yesterday, ha!

So many people think they're weak if they cry and that's far from true. I honestly believe it's healthy. Find something that's going to help you cry and once you are, just cry it all out. We hold so much in that it takes such a strain on us and it all comes rushing out at once and we make ourselves feel worse by doing this. If you're anything like me though you'll carry on doing this. In perspective all I'm trying to say here is cry whenever you need too and don't be afraid of that because it's perfectly normal to cry.

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY: HONESTY HOUR #7: MOTIVATION

10 THINGS I LEARNT WHILST LIVING AT UNIVERSITY

I wanted to have a go at a different kind of post today so I thought I'd share what I learnt at University with you all in the formation of this little list. I hope you all enjoy it!

1. Housework does not do itself (unfortunately)

So many times the dishes piled up, sometimes until there was no cutlery left. I'd realise how little time I did actually have in the day when I was in lectures 12pm-6pm. Me and my best friend would get back to our flat and cook dinner, wash up, shower and that would literally be it and it would be 11pm. On a Monday there was honestly no time to do anything you wanted to do. Be prepared to become a cleaner for the next 3 years.

2. Appearance doesn't matter

I learnt this fairly quickly... I lived on a campus at Northampton. There was a Spar right across from our block of flats, when we needed milk it was pointless doing our make up. Yes, you probably will feel like everybody is staring at you but who cares when you've brave faced it once, you'll more than likely do it again. 4pm trips to the shops in your pyjamas when it's light is not unusual and be prepared to see the rest of the student population in onesies past 6pm in the shops. University really is a time of not having a care in the world.

3. I cannot wake myself up

This is now a known fact. Without being at home and without a Mum, I am no use in waking myself up. Whether this was to do with the fact I hated the course or I couldn't sleep at night it was just impossible for me to get up. What makes this situation a whole lot worse is the fact that nobody knew back home that I was even missing so many lectures... Not a great thing to be doing, I do admit.

4. Laundrettes are not reliable

So many times I've been in those stupid laundrettes waiting to see the outcome of my poor clothes. I've been in those laundrettes and it's sounded like a scene from Saw. My money has been eaten on numerous occasions. I can't forget the washing cycle stopping half way through, that's great when you've gone back to your flat and go back to pick your washing up and it's not even done, AMAZING! People leave their clothes in a washing machine, who would do that? I hate the thought of my underwear being left for all eyes to see. You could come back and they could be strung up in the window, who knows where they could end up!

5. Money management is most definitely not easy

Before I got each of my loans I'd sit with my Mum and we'd discuss how much money I should have left at the end of the semester. I'll tell you now, I never had the amount of money we totalled up... I thought I'd be good at this money management business but no. When you've got Birmingham an hour away from you and Milton Keynes, MK1 shopping park it's hard to resist, especially with the influence of your best friend. If you like Primark and you live near Milton Keynes go and check the MK1 shopping park out, it's a Primark fans dream!

6. Being an adult is not fun

Just a little sentence here, so many responsibilities it's ridiculous and makes me want to cry eternally.

7. Nothing will set the fire alarm off

Our oven was horrendous it was an electric oven and it was shocking. You could not control the temperature of that oven at all, it burnt the bottoms of our cookies too many times. I put a chocolate fudge cake in the microwave once to heat the icing up so it would melt (it said to do so on the box). 5 minutes was all it took apparently, little did I know that was for the whole cake, this was just one slice I was melting. I was watching something and moments later I saw a white cloud of smoke in the corner of my eye. There were streams of smoke coming out of the top vent of the microwave. I've never felt so panicked and worried. I honestly felt that we was going to set the fire alarm off. No, we didn't, I swear nothing can set that thing off but when it does go off be prepared to have a heart attack.

8. I can put my bra on relatively fast

Despite saying nothing can set the fire alarm off, it did go off on so many occasions at the most inappropriate times. On a Wednesday, half an hour before I was due at a lecture. At 5am on a Thursday morning, so many drunk people wandering around from their Wednesday night out. The possibilities are endless and lucky for me apparently I can put my bra on super fast!

9. You'll either lose weight or put it on

I've put weight on. That's where the ambition of losing weight this year has come from. I knew I'd put some weight on in March but I bravely got the courage to step on the scales the other day and oh dear me, I couldn't believe my eyes. All in all, I probably should have resisted those 1am Domino's and using the 40% off when you spend £35 at Pizzahut with my best friend...

10. The big one - University is not for me

I found myself at uni, I learnt a lot about myself and I learnt that it wasn't for me. I missed my family so much, I felt lonely, I hated the course and I was sad. That's okay though because it's not for everyone and I get that. There is just so much pressure at sixth form for you to go to uni, that I, myself, caved into. 

Independent life at uni isn't all that bad though, I've gained some great memories that will be with me for the rest of my life. You know something else too, it's an experience. It's my greatest achievement to this date and I'm proud that I actually got in. So what, people may think of me as a drop out now but who cares? I tried something, I didn't like it, I wasn't happy and I'm the last person that's going to be unhappy just to please everybody else.

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY: HONESTY HOUR #3: UNIVERSITY

AUGUST WISH LIST: FASHION

LIGHT PINK FAUX FUR OVERSIZED COAT

This is by far my most favourite thing I've seen on the net in the month of August. I love how all the Autumn fashion is coming into stock on the websites. I've been lusting over a fur coat now for nearly a whole year. I just want one to wrap up in and add to my collection of coats. This one by River Island retails in at a hefty £100.00, it's a lot. It looks so soft and luxurious though, it makes me far too excited. When I get a job maybe I'll cave in to making the purchase...

FLORAL PRINTED TROUSERS

Now I'm not the one to be looking at trousers... However, I have an interview coming up and I'm really loving Dorothy Perkins at the moment for the more smarter things we need in life. I wanted some black trousers anyway for this interview and then I stumbled upon this pair from Dorothy Perkins for £24.00, I must add, I did not buy these, insert massively sad face here. I am not so confident when it comes to bold patterns but these are just stunning. I really hope I can get my hands on a pair of these before they sell out. 

BLACK FELT BOWLER HAT

I am so into hats right now but I have no confidence to wear one. I don't know why it's just a hat after all? Something that goes on your head, right? I feel like if I was in London I'd strut down the street wearing one but where I live, a small little town it's just not fitting. Maybe I'll get a little more confidence in the winter to go and purchase one and stomp around the streets in it, who knows! I really like this bowler hat from New Look though that comes in at £14.99.

YELLOW SCALLOP HEM TOP

Another item from New Look is this yellow top at £12.99. I love New Look for their prices and quality. I'm not really a big fan of their jeans however I love their tops and think their prices are great. I'm also a fan of their shoes too. However, I was in the store local to me today, I saw a yellow top and thought how beautiful is that! I left it though, as I was thinking what I've seen this month and loved I thought of that top! I looked online and found this scalloped one instead which I find way more pretty and cutesy, which is very much the kind of style I love. I'm dreaming of this yellow top and the Dorothy Perkins trousers with the fur coat, my insides are excited thinking about that concoction.

FUR TRIM BOOT

I've been wanting a pair of these style boots ever since I saw Topshop do some 2 years ago. I was amazed when I found these on Boohoo were discounted for a short time, normally they are £18.00. They only have size 8's left though and that makes me want to cry. I really hope they get extra stock of these because they are gorgeous.

GREY SLEEVE BOXY JUMPER

This is so simple and this summer I've just been loving simple tops. I think this is why this jumper caught my eye from New Look at £12.99. I find that the fitting of it looks very flattering and I love the colour. I'll probably be picking this up as we head into the colder months of Autumn.

YELLOW MINI TOTE BAG

I am absolutely, well and truly, utterly obsessed with this colour. I adore it. It's been my favourite colour of the summer and anything this colour I have been instantly drawn too. It's just lush and I love it, eeee. This bag is new season from River Island and it retails in at £30.00. It looks to be the perfect size and River Island do bags so well. They're always structured and for me that's a big thing that matters when looking for a bag. I don't like saggy bags, this is definitely on my NEED to gets. 

CAGED BODY

Underwear is a big love of mine... If you are a prude look away now because this is something I definitely want to buy. The next best thing is that it's £22.00, from ASOS. I couldn't believe the price for this gorgeous number. I'm always looking at pretty underwear, it's one of my favourites to buy. Underwear may be discussed a lot on this blog because it's just way too pretty.

BOXY PINEAPPLE AND FLAMINGO PLAYSUIT

I saw this first on Helen from melonlady I definitely wanted to know where it was from, I found it on Oh My Love London I thought I was going to be making the purchase then and there but I saw the price tag...This comes in at £38.00. Some people may think that's cheap but to be honest for what it is, a polyester playsuit, I really don't believe it's worth the money... I do absolutely love it though, the prices makes me quite sad...

MY PINTEREST: PART 1

I've tried to write this post so many times. At first I was doing my images a certain way to show you the best of my Pinterest and then I gave up on that idea. Next, I was making a bit of collage of the posts I like the most from each board. Whichever way I did it I thought this post is going to become way too long! I have 25 Pinterest boards so showing you them all would be quite a post. I love little things in each board so to pick my top 5 boards could be quite a task also. Here I am writing this again, thinking of a way to demonstrate the creativity of Pinterest. I'm just gonna dive straight into it this time.

DISCLAIMER: All of these posts have been found on Pinterest and I take no credit to owning any of the images displayed.

These posts are some of my favourite from my 'THINGS TO LIVE BY' board. I love looking at this board and reading through on a day that I don't feel so motivated or I'm feeling a bit down. It soon perks me up and I believe my worth here on earth is just as much as everybody else around. I believe Pinterest is fantastic for a pick me up.

These posts belong to my 'LOVE' board. How creative, such a creative name. Simple but effective, huh? I love beards, my boyfriend has a beard they're so dreamy. The rest of the posts just speak to me a lot and have stuck with me.

These are under my board named 'SKIN'. This board just contains pretty tattoos that I absolutely adore. I've always wanted a tattoo since I was around 16. I've been far too concerned about how it will affect a career though. It's 2014, why ever we're still worrying about that is beyond me.

'PUGS', if you know me well enough you'd know that these are my absolute favourites so I obviously had to have a board dedicated to these cute little guys. When I'm older I would own so many of these if I could they're way too beautiful. Just look at their little wrinkles and squished up faces, eeeeee.

I am such a big feminist. This board named 'FEMINISM' is where I am able to express all my feminist thoughts freely. There's not much to be said about this board apart from gender equality really should be present in 2014 but, it's really not.

The best thing to do here is split this whole 'MY PINTEREST' into a series. So look out for the second part of these posts soon!

Do you guys have Pinterest?