MY LIEBSTER BLOG AWARD

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There I was Sunday afternoon refreshing my mail on my iPhone to find a new comment on my blog from the oh so lovely Laura from keepingupwithblake. We'd never spoken, we were not following one another and I'd never read any of her posts. There was a surprise she left me in the comment, she'd nominated me for a Liebster Blog Award. I'm very happy that she praised my posts and I am super happy she nominated me as I believe it's a great movement for newer bloggers.

I spent Monday catching up with all the social media kind of things I'd missed on Sunday. I thought whilst I was sitting here waiting to start my answers to the questions Laura gave the 11 bloggers she nominated, that I'd read up on some of her posts and get to know her a little more. It's so great to know the person who's created the posts you're reading. So, I learnt by stuff about Laura from the questions she answered, you guys can take a look at her award here and give her a cheeky follow if you wish to do so.

For those of you who aren't very aware of the rules here they are: 

• Answer all of the 11 questions given to you by the person who nominated you.
• Link back to the person that nominated you.
• After completing these questions you must nominate 11 blogers (with under 200 followers) and provide them with 11 questions to answer.
• You cannot nominate the person who nominated you.
• Finally, let your nominees know they've been nominated and provide a link to your post so they can learn all about it.

So here are the questions that Laura set her nominated bloggers and my answers:

1. What was the first concert that you ever went to?

The first concert I ever went to was One Direction, I was 17. I have now seen them 3 times, yay. 

2. What would you say is your greatest achievement so far in life?
I'd say this for me is getting into uni and coming out the other side of 8 months of dizziness, faintness and just generally really not wanting to face the world today kind of mood...

3. Where is the best place that you have ever travelled to?
I can't say I've done any spectacular travelling. I've been to Holland but that was when I was around 10. It was absolutely beautiful from what I can remember and I'd more than happily love to visit there again and have a real exploration.

4. If you could have given yourself one piece of advice when you were a child, what would it have been?
This is simple, do what makes you happy, don't care what anyone thinks. Also I'd tell myself, time heals all.

5. What is your favourite TV series?
The Great British Bake Off and My Mad Fat Diary for sure.

6. If you were given a chance to relive one day in your life, what day would it be?
I'd like to relive the day I met One Direction so I can look hotter as my 19 year old self and maybe tame Harry into a corner to pounce on, who knows. Dreams are just dreams right!

7. What is your unhealthy obsession?
It used to be One Direction however I've grown out of that. I'd now say my unhealthy obsession is buying literally everything I find pretty.

8. What is your favourite flower?
Tulips or roses.

9. If you could erase your memory to read a book again, which book would it be?
This sounds so sad but I'd love to read Fifty Shades of Grey again, I totally didn't just admit to that ha!

10. Tell me about your weekend...
Yesterday I went shopping and bought a smoothie maker that doesn't actually work, cry. Today I've just been on a driving lesson back in my home town, totally not used to the roads here. I was driving in Northampton for 8 months so being back here driving is strange. Later, I'm going to stay with my Nan for the night! Busy, busy, busy.

11. Katy Perry or Lady Gaga?
I really dislike Lady Gaga so it would definitely have to be Katy Perry. She's gorgeous anyway so we'll go with that!

So it's now time for my nominations:

1. Katie at inkatiescorner
2. Esme at esmeburr
3. Hazel Jane at hazeljane
4. Lucy at littlelucywishes
5. Jessica at blush-crushh 
6. Alex at AlexIDiLorenzo
7. Louise at louiseamos

Only 7 here. I follow some great blogs but there's only a collection that are under 200 but never mind huh!

My questions for you guys are as follows:

1. If you could see anyone in concert, who would it be?
2. Which 3 guests, alive or dead, would you have at a dinner party? Why?
3. What's your dream job?
4. What is something you learned in the last week?
5. Is love at first sight real?
6. Do you have any unusual phobias or fears?
7. What do you think of facial hair on men?
8. What are you the most proud of?
9. If you had to describe yourself as an animal, what would it be?
10. What's your least favourite word?
11. Have you met any celebrities?

I can't wait to see your guys' answers. If you've already done this, reply to the questions in the comments as I'd love to know more about you!

LOSING SLEEP

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Totally not laid awake at nearly 2am mulling over life and continuously refreshing social media... I mean who does that? I thought I'd just spill all my thoughts out here, now. I'm kind of tired but you know when you feel too lonely to sleep, me right now.

Isn't it strange how we're in this world full of people and we can still feel lonely. Obviously it's nearly 2am as I'm writing this and everyone is asleep so I'm bound to feel lonely. Isn't it strange though that whilst everyone is sound asleep anything could be happening right outside our windows? I'm definitely thinking into things too much tonight. 

Tonight is one of those 'what if' nights. What if I saw myself through someone else's eyes, would I think I was beautiful? What if I'd met with that boy and gone on a date? What if I'd have stayed on at uni? You know just random stuff a girl ponders about. The big thing here is though, those things can't happen and can't be changed so why am I laid here losing sleep over things like this.

With that said and no rain being music to my ears it's probably time I go and moan somewhere else about being lonely. Maybe I'll just go to sleep who knows?

HONESTY HOUR #8: IT'S OKAY TO CRY

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You know when things just all build up into one big mess in your head and it just comes crashing down in the form of tears. That was me, yesterday. I felt like I'd been shouted at, silly I know, but that on top of everything else building up in my head meant I headed for a breakdown of crying... The main reason, I felt like a failure, I know I'm far from it.

With that aside I just want to say it's okay to cry every now and then. There's totally nothing wrong with it. Do it. It's good for you. Let it all go, everything that you've built up inside just let it out of your system and that's it really, move on. It's hard to be sane and deal with lives everyday things when you have things building up inside you or you will undoubtedly breakdown into fits of tears anywhere. This could be over someone speaking to you in a way you dislike too, as I found out yesterday, ha!

So many people think they're weak if they cry and that's far from true. I honestly believe it's healthy. Find something that's going to help you cry and once you are, just cry it all out. We hold so much in that it takes such a strain on us and it all comes rushing out at once and we make ourselves feel worse by doing this. If you're anything like me though you'll carry on doing this. In perspective all I'm trying to say here is cry whenever you need too and don't be afraid of that because it's perfectly normal to cry.

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY: HONESTY HOUR #7: MOTIVATION

10 THINGS I LEARNT WHILST LIVING AT UNIVERSITY

I wanted to have a go at a different kind of post today so I thought I'd share what I learnt at University with you all in the formation of this little list. I hope you all enjoy it!

1. Housework does not do itself (unfortunately)

So many times the dishes piled up, sometimes until there was no cutlery left. I'd realise how little time I did actually have in the day when I was in lectures 12pm-6pm. Me and my best friend would get back to our flat and cook dinner, wash up, shower and that would literally be it and it would be 11pm. On a Monday there was honestly no time to do anything you wanted to do. Be prepared to become a cleaner for the next 3 years.

2. Appearance doesn't matter

I learnt this fairly quickly... I lived on a campus at Northampton. There was a Spar right across from our block of flats, when we needed milk it was pointless doing our make up. Yes, you probably will feel like everybody is staring at you but who cares when you've brave faced it once, you'll more than likely do it again. 4pm trips to the shops in your pyjamas when it's light is not unusual and be prepared to see the rest of the student population in onesies past 6pm in the shops. University really is a time of not having a care in the world.

3. I cannot wake myself up

This is now a known fact. Without being at home and without a Mum, I am no use in waking myself up. Whether this was to do with the fact I hated the course or I couldn't sleep at night it was just impossible for me to get up. What makes this situation a whole lot worse is the fact that nobody knew back home that I was even missing so many lectures... Not a great thing to be doing, I do admit.

4. Laundrettes are not reliable

So many times I've been in those stupid laundrettes waiting to see the outcome of my poor clothes. I've been in those laundrettes and it's sounded like a scene from Saw. My money has been eaten on numerous occasions. I can't forget the washing cycle stopping half way through, that's great when you've gone back to your flat and go back to pick your washing up and it's not even done, AMAZING! People leave their clothes in a washing machine, who would do that? I hate the thought of my underwear being left for all eyes to see. You could come back and they could be strung up in the window, who knows where they could end up!

5. Money management is most definitely not easy

Before I got each of my loans I'd sit with my Mum and we'd discuss how much money I should have left at the end of the semester. I'll tell you now, I never had the amount of money we totalled up... I thought I'd be good at this money management business but no. When you've got Birmingham an hour away from you and Milton Keynes, MK1 shopping park it's hard to resist, especially with the influence of your best friend. If you like Primark and you live near Milton Keynes go and check the MK1 shopping park out, it's a Primark fans dream!

6. Being an adult is not fun

Just a little sentence here, so many responsibilities it's ridiculous and makes me want to cry eternally.

7. Nothing will set the fire alarm off

Our oven was horrendous it was an electric oven and it was shocking. You could not control the temperature of that oven at all, it burnt the bottoms of our cookies too many times. I put a chocolate fudge cake in the microwave once to heat the icing up so it would melt (it said to do so on the box). 5 minutes was all it took apparently, little did I know that was for the whole cake, this was just one slice I was melting. I was watching something and moments later I saw a white cloud of smoke in the corner of my eye. There were streams of smoke coming out of the top vent of the microwave. I've never felt so panicked and worried. I honestly felt that we was going to set the fire alarm off. No, we didn't, I swear nothing can set that thing off but when it does go off be prepared to have a heart attack.

8. I can put my bra on relatively fast

Despite saying nothing can set the fire alarm off, it did go off on so many occasions at the most inappropriate times. On a Wednesday, half an hour before I was due at a lecture. At 5am on a Thursday morning, so many drunk people wandering around from their Wednesday night out. The possibilities are endless and lucky for me apparently I can put my bra on super fast!

9. You'll either lose weight or put it on

I've put weight on. That's where the ambition of losing weight this year has come from. I knew I'd put some weight on in March but I bravely got the courage to step on the scales the other day and oh dear me, I couldn't believe my eyes. All in all, I probably should have resisted those 1am Domino's and using the 40% off when you spend £35 at Pizzahut with my best friend...

10. The big one - University is not for me

I found myself at uni, I learnt a lot about myself and I learnt that it wasn't for me. I missed my family so much, I felt lonely, I hated the course and I was sad. That's okay though because it's not for everyone and I get that. There is just so much pressure at sixth form for you to go to uni, that I, myself, caved into. 

Independent life at uni isn't all that bad though, I've gained some great memories that will be with me for the rest of my life. You know something else too, it's an experience. It's my greatest achievement to this date and I'm proud that I actually got in. So what, people may think of me as a drop out now but who cares? I tried something, I didn't like it, I wasn't happy and I'm the last person that's going to be unhappy just to please everybody else.

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY: HONESTY HOUR #3: UNIVERSITY

AUGUST WISH LIST: FASHION

LIGHT PINK FAUX FUR OVERSIZED COAT

This is by far my most favourite thing I've seen on the net in the month of August. I love how all the Autumn fashion is coming into stock on the websites. I've been lusting over a fur coat now for nearly a whole year. I just want one to wrap up in and add to my collection of coats. This one by River Island retails in at a hefty £100.00, it's a lot. It looks so soft and luxurious though, it makes me far too excited. When I get a job maybe I'll cave in to making the purchase...

FLORAL PRINTED TROUSERS

Now I'm not the one to be looking at trousers... However, I have an interview coming up and I'm really loving Dorothy Perkins at the moment for the more smarter things we need in life. I wanted some black trousers anyway for this interview and then I stumbled upon this pair from Dorothy Perkins for £24.00, I must add, I did not buy these, insert massively sad face here. I am not so confident when it comes to bold patterns but these are just stunning. I really hope I can get my hands on a pair of these before they sell out. 

BLACK FELT BOWLER HAT

I am so into hats right now but I have no confidence to wear one. I don't know why it's just a hat after all? Something that goes on your head, right? I feel like if I was in London I'd strut down the street wearing one but where I live, a small little town it's just not fitting. Maybe I'll get a little more confidence in the winter to go and purchase one and stomp around the streets in it, who knows! I really like this bowler hat from New Look though that comes in at £14.99.

YELLOW SCALLOP HEM TOP

Another item from New Look is this yellow top at £12.99. I love New Look for their prices and quality. I'm not really a big fan of their jeans however I love their tops and think their prices are great. I'm also a fan of their shoes too. However, I was in the store local to me today, I saw a yellow top and thought how beautiful is that! I left it though, as I was thinking what I've seen this month and loved I thought of that top! I looked online and found this scalloped one instead which I find way more pretty and cutesy, which is very much the kind of style I love. I'm dreaming of this yellow top and the Dorothy Perkins trousers with the fur coat, my insides are excited thinking about that concoction.

FUR TRIM BOOT

I've been wanting a pair of these style boots ever since I saw Topshop do some 2 years ago. I was amazed when I found these on Boohoo were discounted for a short time, normally they are £18.00. They only have size 8's left though and that makes me want to cry. I really hope they get extra stock of these because they are gorgeous.

GREY SLEEVE BOXY JUMPER

This is so simple and this summer I've just been loving simple tops. I think this is why this jumper caught my eye from New Look at £12.99. I find that the fitting of it looks very flattering and I love the colour. I'll probably be picking this up as we head into the colder months of Autumn.

YELLOW MINI TOTE BAG

I am absolutely, well and truly, utterly obsessed with this colour. I adore it. It's been my favourite colour of the summer and anything this colour I have been instantly drawn too. It's just lush and I love it, eeee. This bag is new season from River Island and it retails in at £30.00. It looks to be the perfect size and River Island do bags so well. They're always structured and for me that's a big thing that matters when looking for a bag. I don't like saggy bags, this is definitely on my NEED to gets. 

CAGED BODY

Underwear is a big love of mine... If you are a prude look away now because this is something I definitely want to buy. The next best thing is that it's £22.00, from ASOS. I couldn't believe the price for this gorgeous number. I'm always looking at pretty underwear, it's one of my favourites to buy. Underwear may be discussed a lot on this blog because it's just way too pretty.

BOXY PINEAPPLE AND FLAMINGO PLAYSUIT

I saw this first on Helen from melonlady I definitely wanted to know where it was from, I found it on Oh My Love London I thought I was going to be making the purchase then and there but I saw the price tag...This comes in at £38.00. Some people may think that's cheap but to be honest for what it is, a polyester playsuit, I really don't believe it's worth the money... I do absolutely love it though, the prices makes me quite sad...

MY PINTEREST: PART 1

I've tried to write this post so many times. At first I was doing my images a certain way to show you the best of my Pinterest and then I gave up on that idea. Next, I was making a bit of collage of the posts I like the most from each board. Whichever way I did it I thought this post is going to become way too long! I have 25 Pinterest boards so showing you them all would be quite a post. I love little things in each board so to pick my top 5 boards could be quite a task also. Here I am writing this again, thinking of a way to demonstrate the creativity of Pinterest. I'm just gonna dive straight into it this time.

DISCLAIMER: All of these posts have been found on Pinterest and I take no credit to owning any of the images displayed.

These posts are some of my favourite from my 'THINGS TO LIVE BY' board. I love looking at this board and reading through on a day that I don't feel so motivated or I'm feeling a bit down. It soon perks me up and I believe my worth here on earth is just as much as everybody else around. I believe Pinterest is fantastic for a pick me up.

These posts belong to my 'LOVE' board. How creative, such a creative name. Simple but effective, huh? I love beards, my boyfriend has a beard they're so dreamy. The rest of the posts just speak to me a lot and have stuck with me.

These are under my board named 'SKIN'. This board just contains pretty tattoos that I absolutely adore. I've always wanted a tattoo since I was around 16. I've been far too concerned about how it will affect a career though. It's 2014, why ever we're still worrying about that is beyond me.

'PUGS', if you know me well enough you'd know that these are my absolute favourites so I obviously had to have a board dedicated to these cute little guys. When I'm older I would own so many of these if I could they're way too beautiful. Just look at their little wrinkles and squished up faces, eeeeee.

I am such a big feminist. This board named 'FEMINISM' is where I am able to express all my feminist thoughts freely. There's not much to be said about this board apart from gender equality really should be present in 2014 but, it's really not.

The best thing to do here is split this whole 'MY PINTEREST' into a series. So look out for the second part of these posts soon!

Do you guys have Pinterest?

3 YEARS RECOVERY: SELF-INJURY

This is a post I'm totally preparing way in advance, it's hugely important to me to get this right. As it's coming up to my third year in recovery from self-injury I wish to shed light upon my journey and provide a story of hope to anyone who is reading this blog right now, who may be going through the same thing or, is thinking about self-injury. Firstly, I want to say that this post is not at all a preach to do this, and that, and so on. Secondly, this is not a sympathy story, I'm perfectly fine now, I don't want sympathy. Thirdly, if you're going to judge anything from here on out click the X in the corner.

Some people may wonder why I'm writing this if it scares me to even write the words self-injury. Also if I'm going to be scared of the perception towards this post. What about the reaction? Who knows how this post will go down. Here's my reasoning why this is going to go out there to you guys, my question here is why should I have to worry about the reaction? This is my problem with self-harm and self-injury there is so much stigma attached to both, that people are so scared to admit anything is wrong with them. I'm scared to write this post because I'm scared of being judged. I believe the more people that talk about this topic though and open up with their experience the stigma becomes smaller and smaller. The close minded people who judge those who have suffered become more frowned upon than those who suffer. The day that comes around, the better. So, with all that said this is why I'm writing this post.

I've said from day one I want this whole blog to be honest. My ambition in life is to help people, there you can see why I'm writing this. Imagine if this helps one person, I'd be incredibly happy. I'm going to be honest as much as I can throughout this and the bits I don't find comfortable writing about I shall leave out. For those who are reading this that may be suffering, I want to warn you that this could be triggering for you. For those of you who are not knowledgeable on what self-injury exactly is, it is where someone deliberately carves, cuts or scratches their skin, burns themselves, banging/punching/hitting objects with the intention of hurting themselves and embedding things under the skin. Self-harm however is where behaviour can have a short or long-term effect such as, drug abuse. SOURCE FOR THESE DEFINITIONS.

I started self-injuring I'd say around June 2011. It stopped by the end of August 2011. It was very short lived as you can tell by the dates. I've had relapses after August but nothing major where I'd actually bleed. I was not happy unless my cuts bled during June, July and August. I felt a buzz when they did. I had things going on in my life that caused me to self-injure it was family related stuff, a lot was going on at the time. I'd also lost my Granddad in January 2011. My cuts weren't deep enough to leave noticeable scars. I only have three scars that are visible right now, I say visible but you can only see them if you're up close and looking for them on my wrist. I got out of this vicious addiction very quickly compared to some sufferers, thank goodness. I was lucky and some people aren't, I am so thankful for what happened to make me realise how dangerous and serious what I was doing was.

As mentioned previously, I stopped in August. I was out with my friend, she saw the cuts on my wrist and I could've died then and there. I wanted the ground to swallow me. You know, when I was happy I totally forgot what I'd been doing to myself in the comfort of my bedroom. She was showing off her tan, as I'm the palest person to walk the earth she wanted to compare her tan to mine... She pulled my sleeves up and I completely forgot about what I'd been doing. I know that sounds ridiculously stupid but it's true. When I was out with friends I could forget about what was happening at home. Anyway, she saw my cuts scabbed over, she just looked at me and then acted normal with me the rest of the day. I got home and just broke down, I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid.

At the beginning of August that's when I started trying to stop, I used the method of 'Butterfly Project'. There's a link here to see what it's about, it may sound trivial at first but it helped me. Each time I 'killed' one I'd write down the trigger to see if there was a pattern. That was it, one day I just stopped and fought the urge. Trust me there have been times I relapsed and still I sometimes think of self-injury but I don't think I'd do it now. I'm so thankful I told my boyfriend about it so if I ever do feel like it I can talk to him. Whatever you believe, you are never alone. Even if you think you are there will always be someone online who is willing to chat with you. Finally, I am perfectly always happy to talk via any social media.

That's my experience of self-injury, I just wanted to share it as I believe it's important to open up and talk. I always want my readers to get to know me better. I believe sharing stories of hope, rather than moaning about what I'm going through at the minute like in my 'HONESTY HOURS', that this is much more positive for me and more importantly, you, as the readers.

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY: HONESTY HOUR #6: STRENGTH

50 FACTS ABOUT ME

I've written an About Me post and it's been in the queue to be published for a while now. It featured illustrations I'd drew about my life. I have this feeling about it though, that it's absolutely awful. That's why I'm sat here writing this, I just wanted something a little more upbeat. I wanted to do an About Me which had a bit of a difference but I guess sometimes sticking to the structured way of an About Me is a lot less hassle to pull off. Instead I'm just going to fire 50 facts down at my keyboard (or at least do my best).

1. I live with my Mum, brother and my Mum's boyfriend. 
2. I don't see my Dad at the minute.
3. I am so, so, so close to my Nan.
4. I have a boyfriend we got together on the 5th of July 2013.
5. I guess I'm missing something important already, my birth date! It's the 17th of December 1994.
6. I like sitting down in my bedroom, on a summers evening with the window open and listening to the birds tweet whilst relaxing.
7. Writing relaxes me, I find it so therapeutic.
8. I am completely and utterly in love with pugs.
9. I honestly believe that if you think positively about something it will happen.
10. I believe in everything supernatural.
11. After the previous fact I'll be crazy and honest enough to say I've seen a ghost. 
12. I have anxiety (many of you may know that).
13. I love candles.
14. I've loved One Direction since they got together.
15. I also met them in 2011. Maybe I'll share the photos with you all one day but I looked hideous, ha!
16. I listen to the same album over and over that I soon get bored of it and begin to dislike it...
17. In my free time I love to read.
18. I'm currently job hunting everyday...
19. My favourite song is Rudimental - Feel The Love.
20. I've seen Coldplay, One Direction, Rita Ora, Iggy Azalea, Kodaline and 5 Seconds Of Summer live.
21. I absolutely adore baking, I'd love to get into baking professional cakes but my arty skills aren't good enough.
22. My favourite book will always be The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. I experienced every emotion whilst reading that book.
23. I love painting my nails pretty patterns, I've yet to feature pretty nails on my blog, maybe I'll do so soon.
24. I went to The University of Northampton to study Psychology and Counselling (I didn't make the whole 3 years).
25. I achieved an A, B and a C in my A-levels. 
26. Job hunting is harder than I expected.
27. I believe everything happens for a reason.
28. I don't like sandwiches. 
29. I'm very pale, I've had many fake tan disasters.
30. Malteser Bunnies are my favourite chocolate.
31. If you're interested in raunchy reads, I'm currently reading The Juliette Society by Sasha grey.
32. My favourite movie is The Proposal and I've no idea why...
33. I hate being around drunk people, I get ridiculously anxious.
34. I failed my driving test twice, go me. 
35. I am super scared of flying.
36. As I'm growing older it's becoming really difficult for me to save and resist the temptation of clothes and homeware decor.
37. When my room is tidied I feel so relaxed and organised.
38. I was in a long distance relationship for 8 months and in September I'll be in one again. I'd like to say to all those who have doubts, it's really not impossible.
39. I can't stand it when other girls bring other girls down. Saying stuff about their weight and what they're wearing, what's that all about?
40. I'm currently loving Haim's 'Days Are Gone' album and Ed Sheeran's new album.
41. Autumn is my favourite season.
42. I love taking photos of beautiful scenery.
43. I am a big feminist.
44. One thing I love the most is making people happy.
45. I want to travel ridiculous amounts.
46. I'd say I have one true friend... I would only ever trust her. 
47. I am obsessed over how my Instagram page looks and at the minute it's absolutely dreadful. 
48. I laugh at my own jokes.
49. My hands and feet are always cold.
50. Finally, I'm a natural blonde.

Okay, this was definitely harder than expected. I hope you feel like you know me better now though! 

Have any of you guys got an About Me or something I can read to get to know you better?

 

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY: WHAT'S ON MY IPHONE 4S?